Love, Life, Get screwed

I'm in such a dark place right now, I feel like there's nowhere to turn and I feel so alone. My parents have been there for me bless 'em but all they can do is offer me a cuddle from time to time which is nice but nothing stops. The pain doesn't go away, the darkness that I feel inside doesn't go away.

I only think about my Little Princess now, I cant get her off my mind, so many questions, is she really mine or was I totally used and totally robbed, I cant sleep and I cant eat because of what Pretty Lady is doing to me. I try to get on with things and for 5 mins I can be ok then it starts again, the darkness and pain.

I just want it all to stop, the pain to go away so I can get on with living my life. I dont feel alive at the moment, its not because of the fact my relationship with Pretty Lady has ended, its my daughter, I'd be the best dad, always there for her, just to listen or to protect, I'd give my life for her and I dont think that she'll ever know how I feel, she'll be a stranger to me and I to her, I never wanted this, not for my daughter. I'll quite literally be the last to know when shes here and that hurts so much. I just want it to stop, theres a gapping hole in my chest and I cant stop my soul from pouring out.

"It is better to have loved and lost rather than never to have loved at all."

The way things are I cant agree.

Pretty Lady,

I understand that you want Mrs Hamster to be there, I understand your reasons.
But I'm not happy or comfortable with the fact that Voldermort will be there and not myself. Was everything that you have ever said to me a lie? What did I ever do to you that makes you want to hurt me so? Voldermort has nothing to do with our daughter, it is not right or proper that he should be there. It is not right or proper that he will hold her before I do.

I am at a total loss for comprehension why you are being so incredibly vindictive. Am I really the biological father to this baby? The way that you are being towards me suggests that I'm not.

All I ever did was love you, I loved you while we were together to see you happy, I loved you enough to let you go to find happiness somewhere else. I really dont understand what I've done to warrant such torture and blaitant disregard for my feelings.

Sincerely

Rob

>Rob

the answer to your question is no. i do not want you there, im the one who
will be going through this and i want and need someone there i want and
also feel comfortable with,you must see that. Mrs Hamster is my best friend ive
always wanted her there and she still will be, also me and Voldermort have spoken
and he wants to be there too, as he will be bringing her up it will be
good for him to be there right from the start and bond with her. im sorry
but this is how it is.

Now please get on with your life, stop going on to people about the
situation coz nothing is going to change,and let me get on with mine.

Pretty Lady

Pretty Lady,

I know you asked me not to contact and i've respected that but I must ask you this one more time, please will you allow me to be at my Little princess' birth?
Even if you just bring me into the room for that moment when she arrives then ask me to leave, I'd respect your wish and go. She is my first born, maybe the only baby i'll have, I really do not want to miss the first moment of her life. I'll be absent for her first smile, her first words, her first steps and many other beautiful moments throughout her early years. Please give me this one thing.

Yours hopefully

Rob

Its the intorrerable monotiny that blinds us through life,
Pointless conversations causing bother and strife,
The road is windy, its dark and its twisted,
If you blink once or twice, its life and you've missed it.

You can try to find meaning in all that has happened,
But all that you'll find is emotion thats sullen,
Its not always clear the line you should take,
How you should act, be real or be fake.

You can pump all the weights to try and escape,
Chances a fresh you should never hesitate,
To reach out and grab what you could hold true,
To push yourself up, it beats being blue.

The strength to see and follow through all,
The strength to stand fast, the strength to grow tall,
Ignoring the negative just live for the plus,
To stand and to fight this is all a true must.

"Poetry is a window to the soul."