Love, Life, Get screwed

First things first, I'd like to thank those of you that left a comment for me to read, even the stop your whinning comment as that brought a smile to my face, but i'd especially like to thank the lady that gave me such a nice idea. Its really sweet and i shall follow through with it.

I now am going to temporarily back out on one of my resolutions, to stop drinking, just for this evening, my aim for this evening is to morn the loss of one, Pretty Lady (lord knows why i should morn her with what shes put me through but...?) and the second to morn the loss of the first period of my Little Princess's life as i will not be aloud to see her until the completion of any legal preceedings that i undertake. But as i said this will only be for this evening and my resolutions stand.

1. Stop drinking

2. To improve my body (I have already joined a gym this week and can already feel some results.)

3. To never lie again no matter how white the lie is.

4. To give up smoking so i can see my Little Princess when shes a grown lady, i dont want to run the risk of dying before shes had her wedding day.

5. To improve my mind through education and sheer toughness of spirit.

So to those out there, have a very Happy New Year and be thankful for what u have.

Plz help, if anyone knows where i can turn for help and support plz tell me. I feel torn apart by what Pretty Lady is doing to me.

I've just logged into MSN and my personal greeting is "I love my baby, my Little Princess, nothing will change the fact I am her Daddy."

Pretty Lady has just changed her greeting to "thats if u r?x" in response to mine.

How heartless can a woman be.

I've just received an off-line message from Pretty Lady on MSN that said "I dont want you in my life, I dont want you to be around MY LITTLE GIRL, its for the best, I need to move on and so do you."

I dont know what to say other than, I knew this would happen. She knows that I love my Little Princess and that this would hurt me so much it'd probably kill me. But it wont kill me, I'll fight her all the way to get access to my child, she will know that her daddy loves her. She will know that her daddy will always be there for her.

Just because I wont fit into Pretty Lady's new family she thinks i'll just say ok then you have her, like i could just turn my back. Shes had all my money. I've brought everything for the baby, I decorated her nursery at Pretty Lady's house, I paid for Voldermort's child to have a new bed.

How could any woman be so heartless?

Well this ones gonna be a real cracker, its has now been confirmed through a mutual friend that i will definately not be present at my daughters birth and yes Pretty Lady is going to try and keep me out of her life permanently. I'm not happy, i've a strong suspicion that this will get extremly nasty and sour, I just hope my Little Princess will know that her true father loves her with all his heart and will stop at nothing to see her... I think i may also join fathers for justice. Happy New Year one and all.

First things first, i'd just like to add that i lied to her, i wasn't a total angel in this relationship, but they were only little white lies, for example, i'd told her that the car i drive was mine, when infact my mum pays for it, she doesn't drive it at any time... Stuff like that and there weren't many.

Over the last couple of days I've been talking to Pretty Lady, I think I nearly had her back at one stage even after everything because Voldermort had treated her so badly in the past and I used that. Anyway, its seems that i've pushed a little too hard as now she has told me i will not be present at my babies birth, my Little Princess, god she means so much to me and shes not even here yet. The thing is, i think that its gonna get nasty, not on my part but I think as i wont fit into her sweet little family shes going to try everything in the book to stop me seeing my Little Princess.

I will be seeking advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau but if anyone thats reads this can offer any advice i'd like to hear from them.

Things sort of levelled out between the mood swings and stuff, but I think owing to the hormones I was starting to get on her nerves and we slowed the relationship down, we were still having a lot of fun and a lot of sex, we were very close.

Things didn’t really start to get better until we were quite well into the 2nd trimester then we had a blissful honeymoon period where we were emotionally closer than we had ever been before, I think I was still annoying her a little bit I tried really hard and I think she did too.

Now came the third trimester and things are getting hard again, the hormone levels are back up, we were both trying really hard at that stage not to bite with each other. We’re still having regular nookie and everything preceding how a relationship should, nookie was getting harder though as there’s quite a big bump in the way. Voldermort’s marriage had broken down, pretty much bang on 6 months like I said, funny how things work out. Immediately he started with the text messages, and he was coming round to see his son more… (I’m not sure I mentioned it but he is the father to Pretty Lady’s youngest child.) He was trying it on left right and centre, all this was going on while I was at work, Pretty Lady was apparently telling me everything that was going on.. I didn’t fear too much because I trusted her.

I put up with his texts for about two weeks before I said something properly, I really was getting quite unhappy. I said I didn’t like him sniffing around, I told her that it was too much, I told her that I’d never want to get in the way of his relationship with his son but to back off her. She sat there looking thoughtful. The next day she asked for some space, I asked her y? Was it to do with the fact that I think your seeing too much of him? She said partly.

That was the Friday before Christmas this year, Saturday came around I was going mad, I managed to find her, we sat in my car at some local shops, we talked for a while, I asked if we were still a we she replied with a no, I was gutted.

Christmas Day I was so lonely, I kept thinking about her and my baby, more what would happen to my baby really. Voldermort and Pretty Lady came out as a couple Christmas eve I later found out. That really hurt

Coincidentally, i think it was around this time, give or take a week or two that Voldermort announced that he was engaged and soon to be married. Pretty Lady didn't like this very much.

(This blog is actually getting quite hard to right because of the raw emotion thats still flowing through me. Noticing all the points that i could've got out and saved myself so much pain.)

For the Next 6 months or so Pretty Lady and I lived happily talking and planning for the future, i was getting more and more in debt, i dont even know why i was getting myself into debt, i think its cause i was living in the moment too much, spending money and loving life. Voldermort mean while had just got married, I said jokingly to Pretty Lady that it would probably only last 6 months, little did I know that I was to be proved right. We had a good circle of friends and partied quite a lot, but things still weren't right, she was flirting with my mates and when confronted, i was just being silly... But that didn't change the fact that it got on my nerves and really quite hurt me. After a little while she stopped flirting with my mates, I like to think that its because she realised that she was hurting me quite a lot.

We’re about nine months into the relationship now and things r going really well, I’m practically living with her now, we were having so much sex it was almost Olympic! The partying by now had stopped. Things started to changed again after a little while, we had a few pregnancy scares, loads of tests were taken. After a month or two it was confirmed that she was pregnant, she was about 6 weeks in. Now I think back to it, maybe its just me being paranoid but I actually think that she was trying for a baby and without my knowledge or consent. Apparently she was on the pill that she had conceived the second child on.

At first I really didn’t know what was going on, I was a little confused and to be totally honest, I really didn’t want to be a dad at this age. She asked me many questions around this time, the main focus being that if she was to keep the baby would I leave her? My answer to that was “no” I’m not the type of bloke to back down and shy away from my responsibilities, in that respect I was dragged up properly. We were still having a really good relationship, lots of fun, lots of laughing and lots and lots of nookie.

Around 8-10 weeks into the pregnancy, things started to get hard, she became very hormonal, we’d had a couple of scans by now in the early pregnancy unit because Pretty Lady was having some bleeding, it was then that she told me she was going to keep the baby, I was a little taken aback but what could I do? I had to stand by the woman I love.

A week went by without us talking to each other, my birthday came and went, my favourite football team, Liverpool was playing, I was going nuts I wanted to be with my pretty lady so I phoned her... We messed about talking aimlessly, till she said she didn't want to see me again, I replied with don’t be silly I’ll be round in a minute.
I didn't sleep to well last night so i'm writing part at 8 o'clock on a saturday morning.

On my way round there i couldn't stop thinking about what was going to be said, will she, wont she, will i, wont i, i was stressing all the way to the door, she invited me in. I cuddled her straight away, she responded and squeezed me back. We sat down and talked this was wen she told me that she had been out for dnner with this bloke that chatted her up at the wake... Just a bit of a laugh she told me at the time, i was really hurt, not only because she went out with another man but the fact that she had been able to get a baby sitter, i'd tried so often to get a sitter so i could take her out... I dont really know what went through my mind but, when she was at dinner with him all she could think about was me. We agreed that she needed to do something like that to be sure that she wanted me, it was at that moment i found out that when we started seeing each other she had only split form Voldermort fo a few weeks, maybe just a month but anyway.

A few weeks went by blissfully happy, until one evening i went to the pub, it was one of the rare occasions that i went out without her.. While out i bumped into Voldermort's brother and he had some nasty information to give me, Pretty Lady was still sleeping with Voldermort! I didn't know what to do, it hit me hard.

I phoned Pretty Lady straight away, she started crying, i ran round to her house as fast as i could to try and get to the truth of the situation. Pretty Lady told me that she had been sleeping with him but it was all over, she stopped it about the time that she went out with this other bloke for dinner and realised that she really did want to be with me. I took her at her word, held her passionately then kissed her even more so, that night we had the hottest steamiest love making session that i think i've ever had... But remembering about Voldermort having the clap I went to get tested, thankfully it was all clear.

Two days later she dumped me, nice one, cheers thanks for that luv, she cut all contact with me, I think she was confused, maybe even a little scared.

About a month later she called me on my mobile and asked to talk, I said yes as I still thought about her quite a lot. I went round to see her that night when the children were asleep, we talked for what seemed like an eternity, I eventually got it out of her that she felt scared, confused, vulnerable but she had realised that she really did like me. I said great, we'll take it slow and see what happens, that night we made deep, steamy, passionate love to each other lost in the moment we were sharing.

This all happened within a month or two, her granddad died soon after that evening. I wasn't invited to the funeral with her or the wake after, she said that it wouldn't be right because I didn't know and hadn't met any of her family so I said that I’d pick her up after the wake. She took her female bouncer friend; they'd known one another for quite some time.

I picked the girls up mid evening, they were boasting about how they'd been chatted up by some of the regulars, Pretty Lady then told me that she'd given her number out to one of the chaps but I shouldn't be worried it was just a bit of fun. Rightly or wrongly I got a little jealous and we had a row, we kind of split up but not officially.

Back to the tale of woe, a couple of days later Hamster phoned me out of the blue and asked if he could give my number to Pretty Lady as she'd taken a bit of a liking to me, I didn't mind because as her name suggests she was and is a Pretty Lady. A day or so past and I got a txt message asking if I would like to go round to hers one evening that week, I accepted, I think it was a Wednesday night. I took a bottle of wine round there and some money for a take-away, we had a very pleasant evening... It was getting late and I’d begun to make noises like I should go, work, blah, blah, blah... She invited me to go upstairs and spend the night... I nervously accepted, nervous only because I hadn't been with a woman for a while a wasn't sure how my old boy would work! I don’t think it was the best sex ever but I tried and it was good enough to get an invite back again within the next couple of days.

At this point I should probably mention that Pretty Lady had/has 3 lovely little boys, all from different dads! Their ages now r 8,6 and 2 (nearly 3) this wasn't a problem... The morning made me laugh as I was woken by the eldest two boys using me as a trampoline, the little tykes, lol. Voldermort was coming round quite a lot, I was told because he was having problems in his new relationship, I was also told he’d caught the clap!

We had a conversation, I’m not sure if it was right at the start of our relationship or a week or two in, the gist of it was that we were only ever going to be a bit of fun, this suited us both at the time. (This is a get out point for all those blokes like me that actually have a heart.)

Some time past till one night we went out for a few drinks with friends after arranging a baby sitter for the boys or it could've even been multiple sitters, we drank quite a skin full and went back to hers about 2 in the morning where we had cracking sex in her kitchen, dinning room, front room then eventually her bedroom, she rents a 3 bedroom house in my home town. That evening she asked me what I wanted and I realised that I was falling for her and told her so, she agreed, she was falling for me as well, result, touch, proper bonus, I was really beginning to like this girl.

To all that read this, if anyone. Hello. I've decided to start a blog chronicling my life because of what’s happened to me. Recently I’ve been through what some would say belongs on the Jerry Springer show; anyway I’ll start the story so u can decide for yourself.

My name is Rob. I'm 23 years old and live in the town of Crawley. Let me take you back about 18 months to where my troubles began. I'd been single for a few months and one of my closest amigos Hamster had just moved in with his missus, it was one of those really hot days in the middle of summer, I remember it well as it was the first time I’d ever met Pretty Lady, my soon to be girlfriend.

Jokes were made cause I’d been without horizontal gymnastics for quite a while, all I had to play with was Ms Palm and her 5 daughters, anyway Pretty Lady had become single again after her would be husband (I shall refer to him as Voldermort later in the blog or He who Shall Not Be named) left her standing at the alter after repeatedly cheating on her and generally treating her like complete rubbish. (Make note of this because it will come into play a little bit later on in my story.)

Anyway before I’d left the Hamsters house I’d noticed a spark between myself and Pretty Lady but didn't act on it because although I may come across as a bit of a loud, outgoing idiot, I’m actually very shy when it comes to matters of the heart and to boot I’m a hopeless romantic in the true Hollywood sense of the phrase.